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      • 282. Re: Words and Junk [Avengers fan fiction] *New Story Added 9-10-11*

        Finally got some feedback for the first chapter! Damn forum had to break before I could get it to ya and now I just look sad for being so late, haha. But better late than never, eh?


        But nice, man! Great job setting up Foxhole. The entire chapter is one big hook, haha. For the chapter being as short as it is ya did a nice job of stuffing it with a ton of information and teases, though subtly hid a lot of it in the dialogue. Clint's injury, his feud with Tasha, Bobbi mentioning HYDRA, and Cap suggesting a stressful as hell past few days even before Clint's injury. Lots of interesting hooks ta grab the reader's attention right outta the gate. It's a really good thing it doesn't take ya long to write a new chapter or else it might be torture for your fans having to wait and all. :P


        Haha, but of course ya already know I love the focus on Cap's drawing and I love that you were able to include a hint to it in the title too. I'm sure a lot of folk aren't even aware of Cap being a bit of an artist so it's great that you're shining some light on it and found a way to effectively use it in your writing. And it's always just fun to read about characters' traits and skills or hobbies or whatever that isn't well-known or discussed much in the comics. Bobbi being a scientist comes to mind. I don't think a lot of writers utilize that fact about her but it's always fun to see her bust out her smarts and science-y skills. Can also humanize the characters a great deal especially with Cap who some people tend to think is perfect and never has a problem. Learning how he copes with stress and deals with pressure makes him more relatable and interesting to read.


        Also like how you're touching on the negative aspects of being an Avenger a bit. I don't think people tend ta think much beyond the Avengers are superheroes and everything is sugarplums and rainbows. The Avengers are lucky one of em isn't lying in a hospital bed every week, not ta mention the massive amounts of stress each member is subjected to and all the damage that can do mentally. It's a miracle the team ain't all going through group therapy sessions and are hooked on anti-depressants, haha. It's perfect for Cap ta think of the team as a band of soldiers and a family who support each other. It ties together extremely well. Awesome to read about it and see ya focus on it with a story.


        And I'll throw in a quick tidbit about Bobbi since she was a focus in the chapter, haha. Thought ya did great in capturing her emotionality. I think it can be tricky in writing her as opposed to other characters who are much more expressive and are easy to get a read on. I think a lotta people can mistake her unemotional personality with being cold or bitchy but there are layers to Bobbi and a lot of it is built from being a spy and some of it just comes from her personality.  It can be tricky like I said but thought ya did great with her. She's been through a lot before and is strong and capable. She doesn't need to be babied and Cap knows that too. 


        But anywho, awesome read! I only wish it didn't take so long to get back to you on it. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

        • 284. Re: Words and Junk [Avengers fan fiction] *New Story Added 9-10-11*

          How did I miss this post for a whole month?  Great stuff, Hawk.  I love the little touches of characterization.  The little cues you use like how Natasha entered the room or Cap's thoughts about the laughter from the TV really give their emotions more life.  I'm looking forward to see where this one goes. :)

          • 285. Re: Words and Junk [Avengers fan fiction] *New Story Added 9-10-11*

            Thanks Jad, glad ya enjoyed it!

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