42 Replies Latest reply: Dec 25, 2012 11:59 PM by TheRobster8659 RSS

    The Night Before Christmas - Black Ops 2 Style

    rankismet

      I've done this twice before... for Black Ops and MW3. My latest spin on the classic poem with BO2.

       

      Have a great Christmas.

       

      ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the net

      The COD vets were smiling from the kills they would get

      Headsets were charged with a battery to spare

      Knowing new greenies soon would be there

       

      The kiddies were dreaming of streaks in their heads

      When they should have been filled with thoughts of dread

      Support streaks were easy, a total breeze

      Of course they’ll still come with absolute ease

       

      With nary a word, he bounds down the stair

      Knowing for certain his copy was there

      He tears it wide open, his eyes all a light

      So ready to dominate his first firefight

       

      His console whirred, the screen popped to life

      Maybe he’ll run with just a gun and a knife

      That’s all he keeps seeing from vids on YouTube

      So, it must be that simple, for he is no noob

       

      Who needs combat training, I played the first one

      I’ll show those old vets this time how it’s done

      He made his first pick ten but stopped it at nine

      So certain his skill would make it all fine

       

      “On semtex! On flashbang! On old hand grenade!”

      With so many choices, he had it made

      And he couldn’t believe it, like a gift from heaven

      They let him start out with a freaking MP7

       

      He whips out his pistol and flies off in a dash

      Getting ready to throw out that very first flash

      When over the building and out of the sky

      A ‘nade hit his chest, he was the first die

       

      No worries he thinks as he changes his class

      I’ll just equip Ghost and camp off my ass

      Sit in this corner and aim at this door

      And wait for the bodies to litter the floor

       

      “Enemy UAV is up!” The announcer would say

      Yet flat on his belly he continued to lay

      Right up until he was shot through the wall

      So certain that he would slaughter them all

       

      So sick of being killed by some guy who’s named Tom

      He switches from Deathmatch and loads up some Dom

      “I’ll show you what’s up, I’m gonna sprint straight to B

      No way you vets will get the better of me!”

       

      He rounds the brick wall with B just in sight

      When suddenly time slows, he’s not moving quite right

      The concussion wave strikes him and holds him in place              

      As the vet calmly shoots him, two times in the face

       

      The same thing keeps happening, over and over

      Until finally he dies by a puppy named Rover

      The game finally ends, his jaw drops to the floor

      Only 300 points was his pitiful score

       

      The vet he leans back and cracks open a beer

      His morning complete and full of good cheer

      5600 points for the game was not bad

      And boy was that greenie sure as hell mad

       

      The Christmas Noob simply doesn’t get how it’s done

      For playing Call of Duty is meant to be fun

      Laughing out loud and knowing he’s right

      “Merry Christmas to all, and to vets a good night!”