I've acquired some awesome friends on my list consisting of males and females who are all respectful, mature, and enjoy the hell out of BO1 and BO2. That's been my key to addressing negativity. I'm 35 and I am picky about who I play with because frankly I've been spoiled by playing with awesome people that I have met over time.
Personally, I love BO1 multiplayer but not so much BO2. Most of my friends and I are zombies fanatics. BO1, BO2....doesn't matter. We love em all. But we also play multiplayer when we need a break from zombies.
I sympathize with your situation. Feel free to send me a friend request if you like, GT: LORD GRRR, and I can introduce you to some top notch players, including other females that have dealt with the same experience you've described. Just send me a message letting me know it's you from the BO1 forum so I don't discard it thinking you're a random stranger.