Anyone got some funny jokes?

Black Ops forum

MaTtKs1 wrote:

 

^^ I could've opted for "booty".



If I wouldn't have edited it, I would've received a report on it later today. L3V reports all of your posts anyways.







OK, I will back off. Butt > Booty, so I will quit while I'm ahead.



DAMN YOU L3V!! I knew it was you!!!!!
IntoTheVoid
Likes: 37
Posts: 3172
Registered: ‎20-10-2011
What did one snowman say to the other?



-- Smells like carrots.





What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?



--Dam.





How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?



-- Leave the plunger in the toilet.





Joe and Bill are golfing and there are two women playing in front of them at an incredibly slow pace. So Joe says, "I'll see if we can play through."

Joe comes back and says, "It was my wife and my mistress so I could not approach them."

Bill replies, "Ok I'll go talk to them."

He returns and says, "Small world, it was my wife and mistress as well."
bca2
Likes: 1
Posts: 494
Registered: ‎25-08-2011
why do i like halo

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becuase its fun
crazy_duck
Likes: 0
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎29-11-2008

crazy_duck wrote:

 

why do i like halo

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becuase its fun





Thats a good one.
bca2
Likes: 1
Posts: 494
Registered: ‎25-08-2011
Q: What's white, and 12 inches long?



A: Nothing!





Hope that doesn't offend, I got a standing ovation for it once. lol
jessica101
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Posts: 650
Registered: ‎14-11-2008

jessica101 wrote:

 

Q: What's white, and 12 inches long?



A: Nothing!





Hmm, Subway begs to differ.
MaTtKs
Likes: 1
Posts: 3127
Registered: ‎21-06-2008
I could go for a foot long Ham Sandie
bca2
Likes: 1
Posts: 494
Registered: ‎25-08-2011

IntoTheVoid wrote:

 

MaTtKs1 wrote:

 

^^ I could've opted for "booty".



If I wouldn't have edited it, I would've received a report on it later today. L3V reports all of your posts anyways.







OK, I will back off. Butt > Booty, so I will quit while I'm ahead.



DAMN YOU L3V!! I knew it was you!!!!!





He's playing you for fools. I am loyal to the Council.



That_one_chick wrote:

 

your mom[...]



Welcome back. xD
L3VIATH4N
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Posts: 592
Registered: ‎22-06-2008
How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas?





If it was invented anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush
Watdog11
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Posts: 36
Registered: ‎11-11-2008

L3VIATH4N wrote:

 

hree blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is "What is Easter"?

The first blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey and are thankful..."

"Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to the other place!" replies St. Peter.

He turns to the second blonde, and asks her the same question: "What is Easter?"

The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."

St. Peter looks at the second blonde, bangs his head on the pearly gates in disgust and tells her she's wrong and will have to join her friend in the other place. She is not welcome in Heaven.

He then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "Do YOU know what Easter is"?

The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is."

"Oh?" says St Peter, incredulously.

"Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder."

St. Peter smiled broadly with delight.

The third blonde continued. "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."



OMG the is the best dumb blond joke i ever heard. rotflmao
catchfan07
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Posts: 21
Registered: ‎20-08-2008

Studios