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Batman: Surrogate. Chapter 3 Completed! 8D

HeroHQ

I think I might go no cape. There is a certain design Im working on which would work better with no cape xD

Weskron
Likes: 1
Posts: 3151
Registered: ‎17-08-2011

Sounds good, no cape to get in the way of crime fighting. Smiley Tongue

Optimus_prime12 Level 75
Likes: 3
Posts: 25723
Registered: ‎12-06-2009

Yep, but now another question, hood or no hood? xD

Weskron
Likes: 1
Posts: 3151
Registered: ‎17-08-2011

Tough one, I like both.

Optimus_prime12 Level 75
Likes: 3
Posts: 25723
Registered: ‎12-06-2009

Hood means no bat ears xD

Weskron
Likes: 1
Posts: 3151
Registered: ‎17-08-2011

I'll leave that decision up to you. Smiley Tongue

Optimus_prime12 Level 75
Likes: 3
Posts: 25723
Registered: ‎12-06-2009

Read the first chapter, and it was pretty good! The descriptions were especially well done, and really made it pretty easy to visualize what was going on. Also, the fight scene at the beginning was pretty well done. There wasn't a whole lot of wasted time in it, which made the action... well, feel like action.

There were a couple times near the end where it kinda seemed to jump between first and third person perspectives, which seemed weird. I think you were trying to express Jason's thoughts more, but you can still do that without jumping out of perspective. And, like DK said, just putting one line of space between each paragraph would make it look a lot nicer. It's kinda a pain on this forum, but it makes it look 500% better on screen!

Anyways, it was definitely an interesting read and I'm looking forward to the next one!

And, on a side note, it's nice to see more people interested in writing and English. I'm an English major myself (though mostly literature-focused rather than writing-focused).

@DK: Wow, nice to see I'm being used as a reference! haha. Course, I actually changed the thread title, so looking for Tales of the Guardian probably wouldn't go so well. Of course, hopefully no one uses the early issues for any type of reference... They were just awful. I like to look back on them sometimes to see how much I've improved in just about a year since I started, though.

Rogue_Shadow1
Likes: 14
Posts: 7916
Registered: ‎01-04-2012

I have absolutely no idea if I've improved in the same amount of time or stayed the same. Smiley Tongue

Optimus_prime12 Level 75
Likes: 3
Posts: 25723
Registered: ‎12-06-2009

How long has it been since you started, anyways? Half a year? I've kinda lost track of time... Hero HQ's like the place where time stands still or something...

Rogue_Shadow1
Likes: 14
Posts: 7916
Registered: ‎01-04-2012

Start of October last year.

Optimus_prime12 Level 75
Likes: 3
Posts: 25723
Registered: ‎12-06-2009
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