Finally got some feedback for the first chapter! Damn forum had to break before I could get it to ya and now I just look sad for being so late, haha. But better late than never, eh?
But nice, man! Great job setting up Foxhole. The entire chapter is one big hook, haha. For the chapter being as short as it is ya did a nice job of stuffing it with a ton of information and teases, though subtly hid a lot of it in the dialogue. Clint's injury, his feud with Tasha, Bobbi mentioning HYDRA, and Cap suggesting a stressful as hell past few days even before Clint's injury. Lots of interesting hooks ta grab the reader's attention right outta the gate. It's a really good thing it doesn't take ya long to write a new chapter or else it might be torture for your fans having to wait and all.
Haha, but of course ya already know I love the focus on Cap's drawing and I love that you were able to include a hint to it in the title too. I'm sure a lot of folk aren't even aware of Cap being a bit of an artist so it's great that you're shining some light on it and found a way to effectively use it in your writing. And it's always just fun to read about characters' traits and skills or hobbies or whatever that isn't well-known or discussed much in the comics. Bobbi being a scientist comes to mind. I don't think a lot of writers utilize that fact about her but it's always fun to see her bust out her smarts and science-y skills. Can also humanize the characters a great deal especially with Cap who some people tend to think is perfect and never has a problem. Learning how he copes with stress and deals with pressure makes him more relatable and interesting to read.
Also like how you're touching on the negative aspects of being an Avenger a bit. I don't think people tend ta think much beyond the Avengers are superheroes and everything is sugarplums and rainbows. The Avengers are lucky one of em isn't lying in a hospital bed every week, not ta mention the massive amounts of stress each member is subjected to and all the damage that can do mentally. It's a miracle the team ain't all going through group therapy sessions and are hooked on anti-depressants, haha. It's perfect for Cap ta think of the team as a band of soldiers and a family who support each other. It ties together extremely well. Awesome to read about it and see ya focus on it with a story.
And I'll throw in a quick tidbit about Bobbi since she was a focus in the chapter, haha. Thought ya did great in capturing her emotionality. I think it can be tricky in writing her as opposed to other characters who are much more expressive and are easy to get a read on. I think a lotta people can mistake her unemotional personality with being cold or bitchy but there are layers to Bobbi and a lot of it is built from being a spy and some of it just comes from her personality. It can be tricky like I said but thought ya did great with her. She's been through a lot before and is strong and capable. She doesn't need to be babied and Cap knows that too.
But anywho, awesome read! I only wish it didn't take so long to get back to you on it. Can't wait to read the next chapter!
Nah, you'd look sad either way.
Damn man, thanks for the giant review! Glad it hooked ya and you liked all the little teases I scattered throughout the scene though maybe it wouldn't take me so long ta write if someone wasn't always playing video games with me.
Haha, glad you had fun with the Cap as an artist stuff, it was great fun for me to get to play with that too. Always been a little passion of his that I liked and something very different than the super soldier side of him. I can see why the science side of Bobbi gets forgotten since spies are sexier and it's more fun to play up that, but it's extra cool when the two can get combined like Jim McCann seemed to have planned for H&M before it got cancelled. Roy Thomas played up Bobbi the scientist a bit during his run of WCA, though I don't remember if he got into her spy background as much like Englehart did. And some writers haven't really touched on either background, haha. Great ta know I handled Bobbi's emotions so well! I was worried that she might seem a little too distant and not reacting enough to Clint being hospitalized, but I don't think it's in her to become a weepy mess, especially around other people that she knows well enough though it ain't like they're as close to her as Clint.
Don't worry about it, man, and ya don't gotta write monster sized reviews to make up for it, haha. Thanks again, though! I know how long it musta taken for you to write all that.
How did I miss this post for a whole month? Great stuff, Hawk. I love the little touches of characterization. The little cues you use like how Natasha entered the room or Cap's thoughts about the laughter from the TV really give their emotions more life. I'm looking forward to see where this one goes.