A long time from now, (Like, 3 years) Shut up Deadpool!! I'M writing the story! (OK OK!! Don't get your gears in a rut! Sheesh!) Now where was I, oh, In the not too distant future, (That's better) Zip the lip!!! Oh screw this noise, I'm out of here! *Door slams* Well that was just rude. Anywho, Deadpool here, taking over for the Man in the Sky! So here's the skinny. In 2012, (Yeah, THAT 2012) Apocalypse, the Alpha Mutato, or as I like to call him, APachyderm, the Numero Uno, woke up from a 5000 year long Hangover and decided to take over the world. Spidey-Boy, the Fab 4, the X-Dudes, and the Ultima-Whoops, I meant to say Avengers, and even DirtDevil kicked his buttinisky back to the Stone Age, but, he didn't go without pounding some spandex into the dirt. So anyway, it's now a year later, Double D's Lawyering it up, the Fantasta Foursome are quits, the X-cellentes are MIA, and the Avatars are trying to keep world order. And Nicky Fury STILL looks like Mace Windu, only now he's gone to David Hasselhoff's Hair Stylist. Huh, what's that? Oh Spidey? He's starting college. I think, it's hard to keep up when you show up in like 10 or 20 issues a month. Hey, what about me? Why's nobody asking "Where's Deadpool??" Well, don't worry, you're gonna see me soon enough. In fact, I help make Peter Porker's life a living Heluva Good dip! Sorry, I was eating lunch, the Chimichanga's are back-talking already. Anyway, on to the main event staring Peter-Man and his Amateur Friends with Benefits! Oh, and some new kids on the block who are based off these guys the big cheese met online. Time to kick some Ay Es Es, Scott Pilgrimmy style! See ya, wouldn't wanna bleed ya! With Love, and Burritos, Wadey W. Wilson.
Deadpool: Owwie. That wasn't very nice.
Unknown voice: I can't imagine getting run over by the topic creator would be.
Wade: WHAT?! WHO SAID THAT?!
*Mystery Man steps out of the shadows*
Wade: Why do you look like Kraven the Hunter suffering from Gangreen? And just WHAT is up with the bug head?
Mystery Man: I am LaughTrack3000, and I am one of the "New Guys". This is my sidekick, Jacky, the Living Doll!
*Jacky stares into space with it's dead eyes*
Wade: :long: Uhhh, LT? Your doll's not alive. It's dead.
LT3000: Jacky is just doing taht to distract you, like you do so often with your constant babbling!
Wade: At least I'm a real comic book character!!
LT3000: At least I didn't steal the 4th wall breaking from Ambush Bug!
Wade: ...Who's Ambush Bug?
LT3000: Not so all knowing now, are you? I look forward to easily taking the award for best comedy character in a fan series from you! Good day to you sir!
Wade: He can teleport too?! Why that-Wait a minute! We got an awards show?!?!
List of Hero HQ members who will appear:
OP12 (Moi): Cyborg with BFG (Big F'ing Gun) XD
SongbirdNova: The humor-filled child-spawn of Nova and Songbird. Has combination of his parents powers.
LaughTrack3000: Radio Host who is secretly a bug faced teleporter who breaks the 4th wall and has a sidekick named Jacky the Living Doll, who is an actual, inanimate doll.
Deadpool: Rapper and Deadpool impersonator with a Darth Maul lightsaber.
MercWithAMonkey: Deadpool impersonator who spews innuendos and has an occasionally talking monkey who is proficient in firearms.
Rogue_Shadow: A Speedster with the power to take on the abilities of any one he comes in contact with.
VivaLaNes: A Pink-Purple suited vigilante who has taken to protecting Hell's Kitchen in Daredevil's absence.
The Greatest Username: Powers like Mercury from X-Men.
Loki54: The Avengers new butler.
CaptainUseless: Captain Marvel's Useless son.
Jarvis: Leader of a Spartan army.
Eternal Forces: Abandoned at birth and taken in by a secret society. Power over the elements themselves
Jadryx: Armored Super Hero with a BFA (Big F'ing Axe)
Greginator5000: Powers like a Super Saiyan.
LondonMark: British Shapeshifter.
The Spider: Secret suped up clone of Spider-Man.
DarkKnight95: A shadowy, life sucking creature with an eye patch.
ChristianKid7: Religious Superhero. Electric powers, Element sword, Telekinesis, High Tech Armor resembling Medieveal Knight Armor
Aeroellis: Martial Artist who can turn Invisible and into a Yeti
SaviorJD: Cocky Street Fighter with enhanced reflexes and lightly armored.
Nolros: Brother of a crimelord. Near invulnerable with a Sword carrying "Black Lightning"
Steel Claws: A failed Weapon X experiment, with 4 claws on each hand.
Blood Spider: All of Spider-Man's powers (including the ones from The Other), martial artist, expert swordsman, ninja master, 2 adamantium swords, standard ninja equipment, Calm, fun-loving, patient
The White Knight: Extreme Martial Artist, main weapon is custom made lanyard, wears white trench coat over mostly white clothing, very mysterious and extremely charming personality.
Hopkirk: A 150 year old mutant and a very british "hero" (well villian) with telepathy, telekinesis and control of his own molecular structure, a follower of Apocalypse.