Some of my favourites. These never get old...
1. Just stab already... and it's pronounced "melee"...
- First Noob: "Okay, it the MILLIE challenge. No one shoot!"
- Second Noob: "What do you mean, MILLIE?"
- First Noob: "It must be named after a girl who stabbed people or whatever. Just stab the aliens with your knife, but don't shoot your gun!!"
2. It is it a HYPNO knife... or a needle?
- "Wait, I found a HYPO knife! What should I do with it?"
- "Okay let me know if you find any knives, I can HYPO a Rhino!"
3. It's all about the "reticle"... and being the man with the golden gun...
- First Noob: "Wait, don't drop the drill. I found another sight and I want to switch out my RECTAL."
- Second Noob: "Okay. Let me know when you're done, this guy we're playing with* says that if you make your gun gold it does 50% more damage."
* (You wouldn't believe how lobbies I come across where higher prestige players still believe this, courtesy of someone on my friends who started this myth, just to see how far it'd travel...)
4. The dreaded "Leper" challenge...
- First Noob: "Okay, no one shoot if we get the challenge where you have to kill the LEAPER."
- Second Noob: "What's a LEAPER?"
- First Noob: "He's the big hunter that hops around a lot, you have to kill him when he's jumping to win the challenge."
5. On feral...
- First Noob: "What's that dog thing on this box? Should I pick it up?"
- Second Noob: "It's not a dog, it's a CAT! It's called FERALS and it helps you see like a cat to kill all those aliens."
- First Noob: "Oh, right... wait, no way, I hate this stuff! It freaks me out because I can see how many aliens there really are!"
6. It's a WHAT?!!!
- First Noob: "Look out! It's a RHINO!!!"
- Second Noob: "What should I do?!!!"
- First Noob: "Don't shoot him, you'll just piss him off! RUN!!!!"
7. Those Gargoyles must really get around...
- "Look out! It's one of those flying GIGOLO things!"
8. Then there's that new "Disrupter" gun on Exodus:
- "Has everyone built their DISTRIBUTER yet?"
I was playing with a group of random South London lads & I busted out the akimbo Ark powered Grachs..
"Oh my daaaaays fam, where 'ja pick those up from bruv?"
"From the armory, costs 125 teeth."
"Armory? *kisses teeth* what's that den?"
"You access it from your loadout screen, how many do you have?"
"*Kisses teeth again* One."
Let my 11 year old play solo on my account yesterday. He is just learning so I explained the teeth system to him, proudly showed him all the upgrades I had, how I had 198 teeth, and how I was saving for CSA. He comes outside about an hour later and proudly announces that he got his 1st solo escape AND has purchased MS for me with the teeth he earned.....crud. Now at 40 teeth and saving again....kids.